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Friday, May 4, 2012

Newt Gengrich Announces Departure From Race, Fails to Create a Moon Colony

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Newt Gengrich, the GOP candidate that most often makes the news for [hilarious] quotes that no one else would say, announced May 2 that he would no longer be running in the 2012 presidential race.  This is tragic news to all of those that wished to remove the “food stamp” president from office.  Here is his announcement:

Today I am suspending the campaign but suspending the campaign does not mean suspending citizenship. Callista and I are committed to be active citizens. I am asked sometimes, is Mitt Romney conservative enough? And my answer is simple. Compared to Barack Obama? You know this is not a choice between Mitt Romney and Ronald Reagan. This is a choice between Mitt Romney and the most radical leftist president in American history.

Is he really endorsing Mitt Romney?  It looks like Michele Backmann was right about “Newt Romney.”  The choice between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney is a tough one though.  I would not consider Barack Obama “the most radical leftist president in American history,” but I would agree that giving healthcare to every citizen in America when the country is in debt $15 trillion is crazy.  Does this mean that I support Mitt Romney?  The answer is no.  What many people fail to realize is that the concept of Obamacare was actually the health care system that Mitt Romney created in Massachusetts during his time as governor.  Vote for who you would like, but it looks like either one will just be the “same old song and dance," my friend.  Or you could always go out and rally for Ron Paul, who is still taking part in the race.

Now that you know that Newt Gengrich is out of the race and are getting ready to join an inspiring Ron Paul college rally or vote for Mitt Romney, it is time to reflect on some of the best Newt Gengrich quotes.

1. "Obama is the best food stamp president in American history.” 

2. “By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American.”

3. “I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much.”

4. “We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country, and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto.”

5. “She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.”

6. "There is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us.”

7. "What if he [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?”

8. "The secular-socialist machine represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union once did.”

9. Democrats will bring to the United States "the joys of Soviet-style brutality and the murder of women and children.”

10."People like me are what stand between us and Auschwitz.”

(For more ridiculous quotes check out the following sources:

Quote 3 is a plausible reason for Newt Gengrich to drop out of the race.  If you wish to live on the moon, will not take the time to learn another language, and believe that Newt Gengrich is the only thing standing between you and Auschwitz, it is a sad day for you.  If you make up the other 99 percent of Americans, this is just another day in a sad race for the White House.
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