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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

What is a BRO?

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By Drythiz (Own work) via Wikimedia Commons
A few times a month, a new clique of students brings swag to the halls of schools throughout Somerset County, honorably flashing their Nike “swooshes.”  These young men are none other than the “bros.”  The bros represent all that is hip and new in Somerset County.
Bros can easily be distinguished by their apparel and swag and stand out in the halls of most schools.  To discover just how to become a bro, I conducted an interview with Luke Brancato, a true bro.  He responded by stating, “a bro is one who wears two shirts, obviously Nike, cargo shorts or athletic shorts, high Nike socks, of course, Nike shoes, and the most important part… a flat-billed hat.”  While the bros truly have an obsession with everything that is Nike, some students have chosen to take a much more affordable path to bro apparel: a permanent marker and bargain clothing.  Students have chosen to create homemade bro symbols of choice, the best example being Luke’s “yup” hat, which has made him famous in several school districts.  (I in no way endorse or support copyright infringement of the Nike swoosh.  Be creative and make your own bro symbols!)
Bro tees of choice are those that contain phrases that are completely irrelevant to life.  Some favorites include “lazy but talented” and “just do it.”  Meaningless t-shirts are an important part of the bro culture.
While apparel is important, it is only a small fragment in the culture of brodum.  To become a bro, one must change everything from the way he speaks to the way he walks.  A true bro walks the hall, using phrases such as “what’s up bro” or “come at me bro.”  A bro walks with swag, wielding a flat-billed hat and more swooshes than a Nike billboard.
Becoming a bro can cure the pessimism of any student.  It greatly increases self-esteem and allows students to believe in themselves.  Luke states best the beliefs that bros hold for themselves.  If you would become a bro, you will feel better than everyone, ever, because you are.”  Becoming a bro can change your life by making it much more enjoyable and greatly raising your self-esteem.
Want to become a bro?  There are no specified days for official bro days, but Luke states that students can “just ask when the next bro day is, and they will make a date.”  Bro day is a very flexible festivity, allowing students to raise their self-esteem on most days of choice.  Be sure to take part in this day because Luke guarantees “you, along with many others, will be better than everyone else for a whole day!”

Top 10 Bro Phrases:
1. Dope: That is so dope!
2. Cash Money
3. Mac Miller
4. Cool Story Bro!
5. Just Do It
6. YEP!
7. #Winning!
9.  Come at me bro!
10. Lazy but talented

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